16-32-64 thirty-four

For anyone wondering how my weekend away is going...

16-32-64 thirty-three

I have questions. Big ones, about life, the universe and everything. Maybe I'm feeling 42 today.

No, definitely not. I feel about twenty actually - I have more energy than I have in weeks, and my tinnitus is relatively quiet despite staying up until two. My thighs feel more normal and my stamina is at a high - I spent all day out from 11am - 8pm and I'm still good. This is the week I'm due chemo but I'm taking a three week break to get tattooed... So I'll keep feeling this way, and better hopefully for the next 21 days. That - wow - that sounds GOOD.

So, three questions to ponder -

Is there a shift pattern in place for bell ringing in churches? Do they even do this manually any more or is it all automated?

Is there a nice neighbour etiquette regarding wind chimes in the next back garden? I really like that neighbour and don't want to upset her, but oh oh how I hate wind chimes.

Is there a moral reason not to visit Poundland? I don't know anything about it, but it's mostly recognisable brands, and therefore not supporting sweatshops in the way Primark do - right?

Signing off happy!

16-32-64 thirty-two

So it turns out Meowls is a thing - it's managed to pass me by completely, but now I've learned of it, they seem to be everywhere. These are my favourites - enjoy. 

16-32-64 thirty-one

Beautiful meal or with E&A last night to celebrate us girl's birthdays. Mine is now just a week away and hers was at the end of July, and we were lucky to get a Saturday evening A's parents were able to do babysitting duty so we could go to Sea Salt, Beckenham. I'll add a link here later on.

Lovely food there, really nice quiet atmosphere and we chattered contentedly in the corner over very fine cocktails and piles of food for three hours. That's what I need right now; great company, nice and quiet.

Really liking Under The Dome TV show at the moment and making my way through it at a clipper - the second series has gotten a little odd (as I was warned) and apparently the third gets silly... But it's based on a Stephen King novel, so I'm ready for anything. E wants me to go back and finish Humans because it got better, and A had a couple of recommendations too - must ask him to remind me.

Remember I said I was like a little old lady frightened of my TV when it first arrived? I feel like I've got the hang of it now and am quite pleased. My Firestick had gone to my dad (as the TV made it obsolete) and the switch from Netflix to Amazon Prime is official tomorrow.

Off out shortly to Homebase for masonry nails to put up trellis in the garden and do a few other things with gardener aunt - tired, but chipper at 32 (almost!) today.

Lastly; rather wonderfully, there was a guy busking with an electric guitar outside the local M&S Food at 11.30pm last night. Beckenham is a little village-y type place most of the time -  we have our local book shop, a sausage shop, lots of cafés... It's not Covent Garden!! and yet this just really finished off my evening with a grin. If the drunk idiots bar-hopping on Saturday nights want to dance and donate to this entrepreneur, I'm all for it!

As long as he doesn't bring the silver painted people next time...

16-32-64 thirty

Referring back to 1st August, I've already explained that my dad ('Pops') had been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. We've been dealing with it in an oddly reserved and relaxed manner, feeling as though we have a bit of a handle on things with the experience of my cancer over the past eighteen months. And then it kicks you when you're down, and you remember to be surprised.

The more up to date news isn't good - the prostate cancer has spread and although there is no organ involvement yet, it's throughout his lymph nodes and therefore considered metastatic. The new treatment plan is the same as what I had nearly two years ago - hit with chemo and start hormone treatments immediately - they which will continue for the rest of his life.

Pops was originally offered radiotherapy as a first port of call, but now it's found to have spread, chemo is the way forward. I said got to be worth going through five months of chemo for the price of two more years of life (it extends the prognosis by about 22 months rather than just having hormone treatments, their most recent studies show). He originally said he would decline chemotherapy if offered it, but I think he's so relieved not to have to attend five days a week for three months radiotherapy, this is almost better.

I've found it hard to deal with mostly that the prognosis has reminded me of my own. Very strange to feel like I'm being hit with facing up to my own mortality almost two years on again. So, I've cancelled a few lunch and dinner dates and having a quiet few days out of the busy schedule of things I usually 'entertain' myself with.

I'll get back on track, this has just been quite a shock as I didn't expect the news to get any worse from his first diagnosis. Once again, am eerily familiar story.

At the same time, one of his closest friends who lives in Liverpool had just been diagnosed with a pair of brain tumours which have turned out to be secondary to lung cancer. I've been talking her through some of my experience through Facebook messaging - radiotherapy mainly, as that's what she's facing first for the brain tumours, which have caused her to lose all power in one leg and other side effects. No one can quite believe this is all going on.

My health for once is fine - tiredness but otherwise the comfort of the recent scan results is still there, and I can't wait to have my new tattoo next Friday! More on that later - I have one very important dinner date I have kept with friends E&A at local seafood restaurant Sea Salt and absolutely cannot wait.

16-32-64 twenty-nine

It's 9am, I'm thinking to myself as I finish breakfast and consider what to do with my day. I should be settling down to a desk, switching on my PC, complaining about my emails to whomever I share my office with these days. I should be worried about the price of groceries; reading the news online before tackling my emails, complaining about the weather. None of these things are part of my normal day any longer.

It's also a Saturday. What use would I be when I don't know what day of the week it is?

16-32-64 twenty-eight

Gabapentin - works!

Extra sleep - works!

Radiotherapy - hopefully works too.

I've just left the department after a hit on my ribs. Posterior ribs, left side. Had all the usual chatter, signed the forms but this time a much smaller machine that has an arm that comes around to you on a movable, comfortable bed. Such an improvement on the machines I've been in before (apparently a different kind of radiotherapy) which have been all metal - they practically strap you in; you're stuck lying flat on your back (which is agony for me unless my knees are raised) and the bed it metal too.

So, eight minutes of lying very still (eyes closed, concentrate on breathing as recommended by my Pops) and they're back in, fussing around and discharging me and I'm making tattoo jokes and off I go. Two years ago this would have been terrifying, unthinkable - today, I'm more concerned about what's for lunch when I meet my friend upstairs.

Redness and soreness ("have you got any Doublebase?") to be expected, and the pain from the bone itself may get worse before it gets better. Typically, I forgot the fact that both will be at their worst at two weeks post-treatment... Which is my birthday weekend - but that's fine. As long as there's someone around to moisturise me, I'll be fine.