Saturday 5 September 2015

16-32-64 thirty-eight


I think we'll stick with 32 today. That doesn't seem so bad.

I've had a tough week coming off steroids - I've gone down from one every 36 hours to once every 48 and am suffering a lot of mood-switches (sometimes quite sudden), sickness in the mornings (again) and feeling like I've got a cold coming on when I get up - but it goes by lunchtime. Odd.

Anyway, there are lots of things I would really like to bitch about, but none of them really feel worth even the typing time. Except this - a new movie coming out in September. Another one about cancer. Another one about BREAST CANCER. And I'm tired of cancercancercancer everywhere. 

Watch the trailer before you read my thoughts; trailer here.

There aren't many things I have strong opinions about these days; but guilt has always been a deep part of my psyche and this is a new thing to feel guilty about in my life.



During my first treatment; Docetaxol chemotherapy (similarly insanely priced; but you only have six sessions) I cried for many hours over not being about to 'contribute' to the world whilst taking away so much. Not being able to work - and since then, having to retire from work - tore me to pieces. I can't remember who it was - I think our counseller at our group sessions - told me I was contributing to the lives of my family and friends. You don't have to work to be 'giving back'. That helped, but on days like today, not quite enough. 

No comments:

Post a Comment