Had a really good meeting with my GP (and a frightened looking pet registrar) this morning. I'm amazed to find I haven't seen her since April having had to pick up with locums during the summer while she's been away, and spending so much time in Oncology I haven't needed to see her.
Am in Costa Coffee right now - being back on WW (since yesterday - don't get excited!) made me go looking for the least naughty drink I could have and stay out and about. I was expecting to end up with an iced-tea-fruit-infusion type thing (which are usually pretty tasteless) but it turns out they've gone back to basics and started blending just fruit and juice! Like you would at home! What a revelation! (sigh) So I'm getting two of my five a day here and feeling very angelic.
Back to the GP. I updated on her my physical and mental health - great and great - brain mets are 'calcified' following the radiotherapy and organ mets are all NED. She looked particularly surprised by the brain so perhaps I'm very lucky it's worked so well - I chose not to ask what she was expecting because I honestly don't what to know. I told her about my reduction in steroids with my new 36-48-72 hour gap plans (coming off steroids is a hideous experience, making me very very sick. This is a new try) and she said it was inspired, so I'm pleased with that. Then we went on to my energy levels.
Costa is filling up - the children in here are quite well behaved and not too loud, but I am looking forward to them going back to school so I can use the cinema more at my leisure and it'll just be the "yummy-mummy" crew to contend with. I should get out of here before lunch time so I'm not too tempted by the smells of their paninis being toasted...
Having this chemo break has reminded me what having a normal (for cancer) energy levels are like, and I want it. I crave it. I don't want to go back down to fatigued days and long long nights. A friend who is a nurse and has a special interest in antidepressants and similar meds, informed me last week that the one I'm currently on (SSRI Citalopram, 40mg) has an element of helping you sleep. So with my GP today I mentioned one of the alternative SSNI (similar but not quite the same) called Venlafaxine.
My GP is lovely and has given me a great, solid place to go to when I have medical questions or need a bit of comfort and support. But you can see from her face that she is NOT used to people who do their own research; know their drug names and doses and feels quite out of her depth sometimes when I come in spouting my cancery news with almost relish. I love to learn about this stuff, it really helps me cope and understanding is the main way forward when you know you may end up on trials and your own research and contacting specialists may save your life. Well, extend it then.
So, she looked uncomfortable while I talked about this alternative, but conceded that a change of meds now rather than later in the year made sense. We talked for a while about how I was ready to suffer a bit of a bump while I changed and the steroid reduction at the same time - I said I would get off the steroids first, and she seemed relieved. I'm in no rush, everything in it's own time etc.
Just had a call to confirm my friend J has the keys to her new place and is moving in today - this is fantastic news. I'm going over there shortly to have a sushi lunch, and see it for the first time. I'm so pleased for her; she so deserves a break after this year. My fruit concution here in Costa is nearly finished and I'm starting to feel the eyes of "time to buy something else or go, love" from staff. Five more minutes...
Eventually the GP agreed to all my logic; I don't think I pushed but I was very positive and I think that really helped my case (the reg sat silently nodding - talk about way out of your depth with a cancer patient asking for antidepressants with a kick!). The GP is going to speak to a psychatric colleague about how best for me to make the switch, and call me to discuss further and create the prescription with relevant dosage etc.
So, as I said, a good appointment and she's pleased I'm coming off the steroids, gone back on WW and doing positive things like getting involved at St Christopher's. Which I haven't yet but I will. I will!!
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